Alice's Gift
by It's Anarchy Baby
Summary: When Alice comes home with a surprise, what will everyone do? Especially when that surprise is edible? *Breaking Dawn Spoilers, you have been warned* One-shot.


**Authors Note: **

**Hi all, well this is my first fanfic so let me know what you think! Reviews are great, even a little one-liner (i.e. "lol that was funny") so drop me a line!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Here are the things that I own**

**One loud and obnoxious bird**

**My brand new computer**

**A sense of humor (I hope)**

**Here are the things that I do not own**

**The name Stephenie Meyer**

**Anything even remotely related to Twilight**

**Sanity**

**Now without further ado, let me present:**

**Alice's Gift**

"Alice. How in- what were- for the love of- WHY?" Edward sputtered.

"But Edward it's so cute! Just look at him. Don't those eyes remind you of Bella's?"

Oh, low blow. But it did the trick. Edward sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. "Bella would you please try to talk some sense into her?"

I smiled. "Really Alice, I'm curious. Exactly what were you thinking, bringing a puppy home?"

"Well," she looked truly thoughtful. "I saw it in the store and had a vision of Renesmee playing with him, and well, you can't stop fate Edward."

"Yes _you _can!" He roared. "Alice the only reason you saw her playing with it was because _you _decided to buy it!"

Jasper and Emmett were now in a fit of laughter on the floor. Rosalie just looked bored as always.

"Have you even given thought to the fact that we _eat _animals Alice?" He bellowed.

"Yes I have Edward." A smile played across her lips.

"Oh no. No. no. no. no. no, NO! We are not going to change it! That- that- thing could KILL people! It's just a stupid animal!"

Alice gasped and covered the dog's ears. "Edward! Don't speak that way around poor Jazzy!"

"Jazzy?" I asked, having trouble controlling my laughter now. Edward groaned.

"Yes, after Jasper of course." She looked up at her husband with adoring eyes.

"Why thank you sweetheart." He said kissing the top of her head.

"Don't encourage her." Edward mumbled. Jasper just chuckled.

It was then that Jacob burst in, with Renesmee on his shoulders. Both sets of eyes instantly went to the small dog, now wagging its tail furiously.

"A puppy!" My daughter screamed. "Oh thank you Daddy thank you!" She launched herself off of Jacob's shoulders and went for the dog, bringing it into a fierce hug. Jazzy licked her face. This was going to be trickier than I had thought.

"A puppy?" Jacob asked, a sly smile creeping across his face. "I didn't know vampires could have pets."

"Shut-up." Edward mumbled taking a long look at his daughter. It was too late. She was in love.

"What's his name?" Nessie asked.

"Jazzy." Alice answered, obviously pleased with her niece's reaction.

"Jazzy!" The girl squealed. "Can we go play with him Aunt Alice? Please?" Alice was putty in her hands.

"Sure! We'll go outside. What is it the humans always do? Ah yes, fetch. We'll teach Jazzy how to play fetch. Come on let's go look for a stick!"

Edward was now hitting his head on the coffee table repeatedly as his sister and daughter exited. "Stupid shopaholic vampire." He mumbled.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" I asked. It's not like we could get rid of the thing now that Renesme was in love with it.

"Can't we just keep it?" Emmett whined. "It's not like it's tempting us anymore than Bella was." He ducked as I threw a pillow at him.

"No." Edward growled. "Absolutely not."

"You're not going to turn the thing into a leech are you?" Jacob sneered.

Edward shot daggers at him. "I'm not _that _stupid dog."

"Could have fooled me." Jacob mumbled. Jasper threw out waves of calm just as it looked like Edward was about to strangle him.

"Well, you guys better figure this out quick." Rosalie spoke for the first time. "Cause Carlisle and Esme are going to be home soon and if they see that here," she pointed a beautifully manicured nail out the window at Alice and Nessie currently playing fetch, "they're gonna be pissed."

Edward threw his hands up in silent frustration. He obviously hadn't considered Carlisle.

"Okay, everyone just think for a second." I was trying to don the roll of the voice of reason that Edward usually had covered. A moment of silence went by until Edward jumped up.

"Jake you're a genius!" He shouted. Jake just smiled as he resisted the urge to say, "tell me something I don't know."

"You know Edward; we're not all mind readers here." Rosalie looked up from her nails. "Mind letting us in?"

"Jacob can take it home!" Edward was beside himself with joy. I felt my face light up.

"Woh man, I didn't say _I would_, I just thought about it as a possible solution to our problem."

Edward growled.

"Hey just kidding, just kidding! Sheesh! You're one touchy vampire!" Jacob gave me a lopsided grin. "Of course I'll take him. I'm sure Billy won't mind."

Everyone, except Rosalie who couldn't care less, sighed in relief.

Just then Renesmee burst through the door. "Oh thank you Jacob! I know Jazzy will be so happy with you! I'll have to come over all the time to see him!"

Alice must have had a vision about Jake taking the puppy home and told her. Edward had obviously come to the same conclusion I had because he was currently staring the little pixie down.

"Why didn't you tell me Alice?" He fumed. Jasper threw out another wave of calm.

Alice casually picked some fluff off of her sweater before she turned to him. "Because, how would that have been funny?"

**So what did you think? Should I keep going? Are you tearing your hair out right now because I just wasted two minutes of you life and you want them back? Drop me a review! You know you want to…**


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